Part 4: Final Thoughts on Youth Sports

Observations from 50 years of playing, coaching, parenting, and doctoring in youth sports

Youth sports have the potential to become a major part of a young person's life. When you factor in the time, effort, emotions, injuries, and money involved with the knowledge that only a select few will ever reach the pinnacle of success, it’s natural to ask, “What’s it all for?”

I would argue that it's for the life lessons that help adolescents transition into and navigate adulthood. The transition from childhood to adulthood is challenging, and at the end of the day we want our kids to be okay. Youth sports offer valuable lessons that help kids along the journey, and coaches, teammates, and parents can become valuable guides as they grow up.

Deliberate Practice

Several different activities can demonstrate how deliberate practice leads to acquiring new skills. Learning a musical instrument, studying an academic subject, or learning to build computer programs are all examples. Sports is just another opportunity to learn that if you practice you will get results.

As a parent it’s important to encourage your child to apply the concepts of deliberate practice to every area of their life. Whether it’s a career or relationship, understanding the direct correlation between effort and practice as well as success and fulfillment is critical. An athlete will learn that they need to love the process or the victories won’t matter. This applies to future careers as well. It doesn’t matter how much money you make or how successful you become if you hate the process. It’s helpful to keep this in mind as you teach your kids these simple concepts. 

Teamwork as a Skill

Sports are often recognized as an opportunity to practice and master teamwork, which is a crucial skill for future careers and relationships. We often view athletes as cogs in a machine, which will translate to a future career. In reality, it's more about navigating relationships while striving for a shared goal. When you're part of a team, you encounter various personalities - some arrogant, some humble; some are weak links, others carry the load; some become great friends, while others maintain functional relationships. Nevertheless, mastering these dynamics in youth prepares you to be an adaptable teammate in the future. This has been evident countless times in my career. Former athletes seamlessly integrate into team dynamics, even in challenging circumstances.

As Bill Belichick famously says, "Do your job." A valuable teammate focuses on excelling in their assigned role, whatever it may be. Whether it's being prepared to perform on game day or ensuring teammates are ready through rigorous practice, success lies in fulfilling one's responsibilities. Those who consistently execute their tasks well often earn greater responsibilities.

Conversely, those who overextend themselves instead of focusing on their role are bound to fail. This principle applies across all careers: demonstrating proficiency in your role typically leads to advancement.

The Benefits of Being Coachable

Most people will have a boss at some time in their life, and nothing seems to mirror this dynamic quite like the player/coach relationship. It’s almost impossible to have an athletic career without learning how to take constructive criticism. Constructive criticism may be given by a coach gently during a quiet period or loudly in front of teammates and even fans. Athletes learn to receive criticism and make corrections without taking it personally. 

Just as an athlete will learn to manage different personalities of teammates, they will also learn to manage their experience under different coaches. Athletes will learn to work with coaches they admire as well as with coaches they do not in order to improve. Ultimately when they find themselves in a leadership position they will take the good and the bad and find their own leadership style. 

This is likely why employers love to hire former athletes. They understand that these types of people are likely to be resilient and will not wilt when given instructions or critique. 

Handling Emotions and Building Mental Toughness

For kids, athletics is the perfect opportunity to learn how to handle their emotions. In sports athletes need to be able to maintain their composure under all circumstances. If you watch professional sports you will see this is a constant challenge for even the most mature athletes.

Handling emotions goes beyond learning how to perform under high pressure. It means showing up and working through challenges especially when nothing is going your way. It also means striving to improve and maintaining your effort even when everything is going your way. Sports builds mental toughness that can be applied to every area of life. 

As a surgeon, like many other profesions, I work on a team. Surgeons, who cannot control their emotions, can be challenging for the entire team. This skill is something everyone can continue to improve, but former athletes seem to understand that teammates can only endure so many outbursts until performance is affected. 

Time Management Skills

My grandfather used to say, “You can study, you can play sports, and you can party. You can do any two well.” Life is busy and student athletes will learn time management skills. Studies show that student athletes actually do better academically when they are in season than off season. It is a strange phenomenon but it’s easier to find two hours to study when you only have two hours than when you have all day. 

Time management is critical in adulthood. Finding work and family balance is a constant challenge for many. Learning how to manage time as a student athlete will provide lifelong skills that are irreplaceable. Kids, who learn that showing up on time means arriving early, is a valuable skill for every young adult, and it’s ingrained in young athletes. Understanding the importance of showing up on time and being prepared to put everything going on in your life aside for a designated period of time comes naturally to athletes. Whether yesterday was a success or a failure it’s important to bring your best today. 

A common excuse for patients is that they do not have time for fitness, nutrition planning, and/or therapy. However, this isn’t often an excuse that comes from former athletes as they have spent their life making time for things that matter.

The Value of Lifetime Fitness

You did not stop playing because you got old

You got old because you stopped playing  

An athlete understands how the body works. They learn that they feel and perform better when their nutrition is aligned. They learn that they need proper sleep consistently to be at their best. They constantly work to manage stressful situations. All these skills can be useful in future stages of life.

An athlete will certainly understand how it feels like to be physically fit and what it takes to get there. When they leave the court or field for the last time they will understand what it takes to stay in shape. My hope for all athletes is to have a plan of action when they reach the end of their athletic career to maintain their fitness and lifelong health. 

Ultimately, some will fall out of shape, but even when this happens they have a huge advantage over those who weren’t athletes when it comes to getting back into shape. Former athletes already understand the basic concepts of strength, cardio, and flexibility. They understand what hard physical work feels like. Perhaps most importantly, they understand that they need to find a fitness routine that they can enjoy to progress. This is a “ been there and done that”  concept. 

Occasionally I see former athletes, who blame their orthopedic illnesses on sports. These former athletes tend to fall into two categories:

The first group ceased to work on their fitness and/or nutrition after they retired from sports. Unfortunately, they never applied the fitness lessons they learned from adolescence into adulthood. These people tend to say things like, “I'm beat up from years of playing softball.” Although this may be true, as a doctor, I can say that it’s very likely they would be far less “beat up” if they had maintained a fitness routine. 

The second group experienced a real joint injury that is degenerating with age, and despite the injury they continued to stay fit and work around the injury. The second group is always in the better situation.

I often describe the body like a car. You may have a tire that is wearing down but you need to keep driving to keep the engine working. I am constantly amazed at how well some patients with bad joints from sports can maintain an active life with basic fitness programs. Even when they need the joint reconstructed or replaced they approach their therapy with vigor and return to their active life afterwards. 

It’s plain and simple. Those who keep playing age more gracefully. 

Reliving The Glory Days

This is a small side note. 

In my career as an orthopedic surgeon, as well as through my connections with many friends and family members who are former athletes, I find myself surrounded by individuals who often reminisce about their glory days. 

What I have noticed is that people hardly mention the championships they won or the points they scored. The stories are always about a crazy teammate, an amazing athlete they played against, or a humorous situation. They are more likely to make fun of themselves than any opponent. When they get serious they may mention how a coach changed their life or how they were inspired by a teammate. It always seems to be the little things that end up mattering the most. 

Yesterday I was at a top level college lacrosse game at the most famous lacrosse stadium watching a family friend play goalie against the most prestigious school in lacrosse history. His team played great and he had an All-American performance but ended up losing in sudden death overtime. The difference between winning and losing was so small. If one shot had gone in instead of hitting the pipe, one referee call had been favorable, or one extra offensive possession could have been the difference. 

The disappointment from coming so close was palpable but because I have a few gray hairs what I saw was very different. I saw how much fun the parents had together cheering on the team. I saw the goalie hold it together to thank friends and family for coming to support him. I saw the coach had the players leave the locker room in suits and ties obviously aware of the important life lesson. I know the entire team will do their school work and go to class and show up prepared for practice tomorrow. Ultimately the loss could be the catalyst to peak at the end of the season. There are hidden lessons that will be valuable in each player's life. The final score will not matter in time. That is the value of the glory days. 

The Obstacle is the Way

The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way is the way.

-Marcus Aurelious

“The Obstacle is the Way” by Ryan Holiday is a book inspired by the philosophy of stoicism and the teachings of Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius. The central theme of the book is how we respond to obstacles that define us. 

Sports is the constant struggle to overcome obstacles and is the perfect arena to practice for life. Think of a group of three year olds running down the field laughing and smiling. Soon they will be searching for obstacles. Naturally they will try to do it faster. Then it will be more rewarding if they can do it while opponents try to stop them. 

Add some teammates so it is fair. Keep it on the field or put it in water or on ice. Make it harder by only using your feet or adding equipment. Keep searching for more challenging opponents. 

We are constantly searching for more obstacles. It doesn’t matter what the score is, the athlete who takes this to all areas of their life will be the true winner. This is why youth sports is the perfect place to begin implementing these remarkable life lessons.